Wizards are all-powerful beings that may or may not be walking among us. With a whisper, a hand gesture, or an incantation, they can alter the fate of the universe. But where does their power come from? Years of training? An innate knowledge of the universe and its many mysteries? No. It comes from their beard—DUH. We surveyed everything from "so twisted" in the style of Jafar, to long and flowing like Middle Earth's Gandalf. Here's how everybody shaped up.
10. Jafar's Twisted Chin Pubes, Aladdin
Jafar gets on this list mostly because he's bringing a little bit of his own style to his beard. It's inherently evil and snakelike, just like him. We also like to see that he's fighting for the non-gray hair out there. Grooming prowess aside, he's still a dick.
9. Lo Pan's Evil Underground Beard, Big Trouble in Little China
Nasty. Evil-doers stay at the back. However, we do give him some points for the meticulous attention to beard and hair length here. They're almost perfectly matched. But he loses most hygiene credibility for his crazy-ass nails. Better luck next time, you psychopath.
8. Radagast's Shitty Facial Hair, The Hobbit
In theory, this is a great and magical beard, but it's full of shit. Literally. Come on dude, you can easily have one of your nature friends clean you up.
7. Tim the Enchanter's Two Tone Face Mane, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
What manner of man is it that can summon fire without the help a flint or tinder, AND have a dual-tone beard? Only an enchanter, and only Tim. Also, killer hat.
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6. Merlin's Ancient and Wise Mug Rug, King Arthur
Of all the dudes on this list, Merlin has the most street cred. He was battling dragons long before the Targaryeans even knew what they were, advised some of the greatest knights in history, and wrote the Magna Carta (IT'S TRUE). He set the standard for all wizards and sorcerers (maybe a few witches too) that followed.
5. Vitruvius's Face Plugs, The Lego Movie
Yes, it's a fake beard, but it looks fantastic. And he gets bonus points for his absolutely chill vibes. Vitruvius (among others on this list) definitely gets stoned.
Most Popular4. Saruman's Shiny Silver Chin Locks, Lord of the Rings
We generally hate this dude, but we're willing to overlook his shady past and focus on his grooming routine just this once. We'd never thought we'd say this, but we're a little jealous of its perfect white color. What's more is that Saruman's managed to give it a perfect shape. A magical one!
3. Dumbledore's Wise, Kind, Flowing Beard, Harry Potter
As the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, it's important for Dumbledore to appear friendly, wise, and kind. Thus, his Santa-Claus-like beard is the perfect fit—not only his face shape, but personality. And we respect how he accessorizes and maintains the flow with a small chain. It's the little things.
Most Popular2. Obi-Wan Kenobi's Jedi Bristles, Star Wars
You may not think of Obi-Wan as a wizard, since he's technically a Jedi Knight, but we let him on because he's in touch with forces normal humans can't grasp. More specifically: The Force. The shorter length is a breath of fresh grooming air amongst this long and esteemed list. And any guy that wields a lightsaber automatically gets in the top half.
1. Gandalf's All-Powerful and Knowing White Hot Beard, Lord of the Rings.
You shall not shave!
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