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When you have Vladimir Putin over there in Russia mud wrestling with bears or whatever it is he does, you kind of hope that your own leader can make a respectable showing of himself, you know, man-wise. So when word came out that tapes had leaked of President Obama’s workout, we thought, Okay, here it is, world! Time for some good old-fashioned American brawn. And then we saw this:

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Sorry, are those granny weights? What is that, like ten pounds? Okay, remain calm. Maybe Barack just has some shoulder issues. Needs to keep it light because of rotator cuff reconstruction, or something badass like that. What about the biceps?

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Oh for the love of...okay. We don’t mean to judge, but you’d think that the leader of the free world could lift more than a paperback copy of War and Peace during his workout. And what’s the deal with that routine? All that’s missing is Richard Simmons and a pair of red sequined shorts. At least do yoga, or something else vaguely respectable. Or maybe just stick to basketball.

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