For a lot of people who like direct stimulation to their clitoris / clitoral shaft (the external part), they find that one side is usually more sensitive than the other. For me I usually have no hope of orgasm unless that tiny spot is stimulated in some way – whether it’s super pinpoint stimulation or moderately-focused-yet-powerfully-rumbly stimulation.
I first noticed this years ago when I found the first vibrator that mostly worked for me – a cheap pocket rocket – and noticed that I had to angle it just so to hit that tiny little spot on the right side of my clitoral shaft. This spot is so sensitive that a vibrator that is only semi-powerful and mostly rumbly can bring me to orgasm yet a super-powered broad-stimulation wand style vibrator is hit-or-miss. Despite the many wands I’ve reviewed, they’re really not my favorite and I could happily avoid them forever. If they’re buzzy, too? Ew, nope. Never gonna happen.
So after a reader found my review on the aforementioned vibrator where my strange analogy went something like this:
“My clitoris, which is a righty btw, responds just fine to some pressure and localized vibrations to the magic spot there on the right side. Many vibrators can’t get to that exact location because they’re too big or the vibrations don’t travel well enough to reach that spot. My clitoris isn’t on Main Street, it’s in a gazebo on the town green surrounded by land with only one sidewalk leading to it and it can’t hear you from the road unless you’re loud .”
They promptly had a happy freak-out:
“THIS IS A THING THAT IS TRUE FOR OTHER WOMEN?????? I’ve never fucking told ANYONE this about myself, I was worried it was because I broke by body doing something wrong as a kid or something, I have always felt too ashamed to tell partners. And this is a THING? Having a clit that is a “righty”??? Sorry this is kind of life changing for me. I didn’t know other people were like this. Have you met other women like this? Do partners get it when you tell them? Thank you.”
For years I thought I was “broken” because my clitoris isn’t sensitive enough to orgasm from manual stimulation 95% of the time. I desperately want to prove to my dear reader that yes, THIS IS A THING and it’s not uncommon! I took to Twitter to ask how many people have a preference on the side; I asked if some have a sweet spot, but on both sides; and I asked if they have no sensitive spot at all. Then we get even more geeky and ask if the sensitive side corresponds to your dominant writing hand. And for most, it does. SEX GEEK.
There’s no normal. There’s no “broken”. There’s atypical, there’s fussy, but I can promise you, dear readers, that someone else out there is just like you. Whether you have a spot, or you don’t, you’re normal.
As for wondering if partners get it when I tell them? I would hope so! My husband has figured it out on his own due to my reactions. However I haven’t had sex with anyone that I cared to give directions to since I figured this out and understood it. Penises have sensitive spots, too. My husband has one little spot where I can do the slightest thing and get a big reaction, so why wouldn’t a clitoris be the same? I’ve found that most sexual partners want to know how to please you best, and how to make you scream out an orgasm. Most partners would *love* to be shown and told exactly what you need. If they are not receptive to this or somehow get offended? Ditch em or fire them from clitoral duty and do it your self.
Some of my favorite vibrators for pinpoint stimulation are: The Crave Vesper; the We-Vibe Tango (super intense and rumbly); the Iroha Kushi and Yoru (and probably the Tori, even though I haven’t tried it); the Leaf Fresh+. If you don’t mind kinda-buzzy vibes consdier the Jimmyjane Form 2; but I’m reluctant to recommend it with the problems I hear. Maybe the Crave Duet? I really need to try one of them.
The photo for this post is a “pussy galore” pendant from this Etsy store; I thought that the little gemstone next to the pearl was a good illustration for the sweet spot, although mine is typically up a little higher – if you’re looking at the clitoris, my spot would be at about 10 or 11 o’clock.