Most guys like to enter the holidays with a warm sweater, but there's no better complement to cozy clothes than a cozy, thick, seasonal beard. But if you think putting down the razor a day or two before Thanksgiving will allow your facial hair to flourish, think again. Beards, like expanding holiday waist lines, are earned over time. That's why if you want the winter beard you've always dreamed of, you should start doing it now.
In the same way growing the hair on your dome can go through awkward phases, so can your beard when it's caught between stubble and full-on grizzly man stages. Now, using images exclusively of known beardsman and Hollywood superstar Jake Gyllenhaal, let's take a look at the lengths you can expect to navigate between now and New Year's.
Right NowYou didn't shave the past day or two—easy enough.
Next WeekThis actually could be the most challenging phase of all. Most guys start to feel self-conscious about their beard around here, as the shorter length can make the hair come across as dirty. Trust us though, you can power through. Unless you've got an important job interview or something—then you have to go back the beginning.
HalloweenLook at you, dude! You and your glorious beard are in peak physical form. You don't just look like him, but you practically are Jake Gyllenhaal at this point. Even better, your Teen Wolf or Pirate Halloween costume will never be easier to pull off. But you may have noticed some itch—especially if you haven't washed your beard yet. Now that the hair is long enough to look awesome, it's also long enough to start trapping nasty bacteria. Pick up some shampoo like this from Martial Vivot and beard oil, for softness, like this coconut oil version from MCMC.
PS—there's no shame in stopping the growth here. If that's the case, pick up a trimmer like this Wahl all-in-one bad boy to keep the length in check.
ThanksgivingNow, that's a beard deserving of a giant turkey leg and copious amounts of stuffing. And though Jake paired his with a suit and tie for a look we've dubbed the "Dandy Wildman," we think this is the kind of facial hair that's just asking to be paired with a new-wave turtleneck.
New Year's EveIf you reach this point, look in the mirror ask yourself some essential questions—did you lose your job? Have you left your house in past month? Do you stink? Beards, like anything, operate on a strict law of diminishing returns. Kick off the new year with a new you, and a new, more sensible facial hair situation.
Jake Woolf is a writer who has covered men’s style for over ten years and has contributed to GQ since 2014. A graduate of Parsons The New School for Design (good school, long name), he also has bylines at Robb Report, HighSnobiety, Pitchfork, and the defunct #menswear website Four Pins... Read moreWriterXRelated Stories for GQGroomingBeardsCelebrities