It’s been almost a year since the Zoolander sequel was unforgettably confirmed on the Valentino runway in Paris—and we’ve enjoyed so many distractions from work in the name of the cult-loved movie since then. Tomorrow marks the last hurrah of said nuttiness with the opening of The Derek Zoolander Center for People Who Don't Age Good (The DZCFPWDAG for short) in New York City's Meatpacking district.
If you are on the fence as to whether or not to take an extended lunch break (and/or a roundtrip flight to New York) in order to partake in the services happening at the DZCFPWDAG, know that limited-edition Kiehl’s x Zoolander No. 2 skincare sets will be up for grabs and part of the pop-up includes a "phalangeal preservation laboratory" where your hands will be strengthened to stand up against the “unfathomable rigors of professional finger catwalk modeling”. You know, should you get fired from said job and need to change careers.
A comprehensive assessment of your “PTNR” (a.k.a. pant-to-nipple ratio) will also be determined. Seems awkward for the ladies but maybe that’s why it’s the 1/2 step in Derek Zoolander’s 6 1/2–step “youthifcation” process.
Other steps include “inhaling high-altitude air imported from the Himalayas” and training you to recognize the the smell of youth with your eyes closed, “because if you can’t smell youth, how are you supposed to be youth?”.
You should definitely go.
