Golden Years, My Ass: A GQ Grooming Guide to Getting Older

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A clean slate. A black canvas. A fresh start. Sure, the beginning of a new year can feel like a magical moment of renewal and resolutions. But, unless you’re one of those age-less Hollywood wonders, it also serves as a subtle reminder that soon enough, you’re going to start looking like your grandfather, jowls and all.

Alas, there’s hope! Because, though your body will age and change, there do exist a number of measures you can take to curb the transformation. From taming errant hair to protecting your skin’s inherent elasticity, here are all the grooming techniques necessary to help you override genetics (well, to a degree) and look great well into your twilight years.

A Few Tips on Prevention

When it comes to looking younger for longer, there’s no strategy more effective than getting a headstart on the process. So first off, you’re going to need to start wearing sunscreen. Every. Single. Day. No, not because you constantly have to worry about sunburn, but because UV damage builds up over time. Start fighting back with SPF now, and maybe by the time you’re fifty, you won’t look ready to retire. A good way to not forget is by sneaking some into your moisturizer, which, by the way, you should also be using on the daily. Two birds, one stone.

Another good idea: upping the quality of your grooming products in general. Cheaper products are more likely to contain harsh chemicals that, while effective, may dry out, react poorly with or otherwise damage your skin and hair in the long run. So splurge on things like soap, shampoo, and conditioner.

How to Deal With Thinning Hair

Now, we’ve already spoken on this pretty extensively on this subject, but for those not acquainted with proper hair loss procedure, here’s the abbreviated version:

At the beginning, you simply want to camouflage your newly lightweight crown by using a product that adds volume to the follicles themselves. On a similar note, you’re going to want to wash your hair less, allowing natural oils to build up and give your hair body.As things continue to thin, try switching up your haircut to something that a) draws attention away from the sparseness and b) adds a bit more visual variation to the mix. Going short also isn’t a bad idea, for those same reasons.Finally, when nothing else can be done, you’re going to want to reach for a razor. Resistance is futile; accept your fate while your dignity is still intact.How to Go Grey Gracefully

What, you thought you were going to get to this part of the guide and we’d have some magical solution to your silver-fox problem that you’ve never heard before? Well, sorry to disappoint. Besides going the dyeing route à la Just for Men, the only thing you can really do to get rid of greys is shave them off. So, unless you’re ready to be a cue ball for the rest of your life, just embrace the grey. No one gives a shit, anyway.

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When you’re young, hair tends to remain relatively tame, and on the parts of your head that it’s supposed to—i.e. your scalp and your jaw. But as you age things get a whole lot wilder, because follicles tend to stop being so discriminating as to where, and how long, they’ll sprout. Here, a few of the more common problem areas, and how to handle the new additions effectively:

Nostrils: The general rule of thumb is that, while hairs inside your nose are natural, they should not be visible to spectators. Like, at all. So use a magnifying mirror and either small grooming scissors to do away with any follicles visible to the naked eye.Ears: Same as with the nose, make sure to trim away any hairs that peek out from inside the ear canal. But what about around the outside of the ear? That’s a little more tricky, what with its jagged surface and all. Probably best to avoid a manual razor, since the blades likely won’t be able to handle the curves and cause cuts and irritation. However, an electric trimmer (perhaps the same one you used for your nose!) will take on the challenge without the risk of blood.Eyebrows: Fear not the tweezers, friend. Now, you don’t want to go overboard (you’re not trying to look like a Jersey Shore character), but using a solid set of forceps to get at hairs that don’t fit the shape of your brows is a good idea. As for length, ask your barber to take care of it when you go for your usual cut. Most will have no problem doing so, free of charge.How to Treat Wrinkles

No matter how hard you try to protect your skin, in time you’re going to find yourself with a few wrinkles. It’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong: as you get older, cells simply stop producing collagen at the rate they used to, resulting in a loss of skin elasticity. Which is why, at this point, you’ve got to start playing offense with creams infused with the ingredients retinol and caffeine. The former, found in Shiseido Deep Wrinkle Corrector, works specifically to counteract this drop in collagen, boosting production and helping to even out skin texture. The latter reduces inflammation, perking up sagging skin, and is in stuff like Kiehl's “Heavy Lifting” Facial Fuel. Also, antioxidants will help prevent further damage by eliminating wrinkle-inducing free radicals, so keep an eye out for products with those as well.

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One more thing you might want to try help with wrinkles is shaving. Besides the obvious visual benefit of being clean-shaven, the blades will act as a natural exfoliant, getting rid of dead skin cells and leaving your face looking fresh and new.

How to Deal With Age Spots

We’ve all seen it: old-man skin covered in dark, blotchy marks with no discernible cause or origin. Now, if that description feels all too familiar, then there a few things you can use to rid yourself of spots. Most importantly, you’ve got color correctors. Hydroquinone-based creams used to be the way to go in this respect, but because they can often lead to irritation and other reactions, alternatives are considered the safer bet. Take Menscience Pigmentation Repair Formula, for example: made with kojic acid, this stuff will have the same brightening effect without the risk of further damage. Plus, it’s formulated with retinol, which also helps to even out skin tone on top of the wrinkle-related plusses we’ve already noted.

Looking for the big guns? Then schedule an appointment with your dermatologist to talk about microdermabrasion and lasers, which can help with both dark spots and wrinkles. Be warned, though: they will be costly. And painful.

So for now, stick to creams.

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