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As far as the taxonomy of goatees goes, Christopher Meloni is firmly in full-blown bushman territory, a level of overgrowth and burliness that is not recommended for the faint of heart. In fact, a goatee — of any taxonomical kind — is not something that we here at GQ feel is beneficial addition to a man's face in the year 2016. Despite a general nostalgia for all things '90s-related, not advised.

But then there's this. Chris Meloni just earned himself a lifetime pass to any sort of goatee mandates we henceforth proclaim. This monstrous badass of a goatee is not to be f*cked with and adheres to no rules. We'll even turn a blind eye to the paisley blazer (with contrast lapels) and the embroidered placket on the shirt. It's forgiven, Chris! A goatee of this caliber is a panacea for all sartorial ills you can muster. When you've got a goatee this prolific, it trumps all.

Respect the goatee. Honor the goatee. Admire the goatee. Just don't grow one yourself.

Max Berlinger is a freelance writer who's based in Brooklyn, NY. He has written for the New York Times, GQ, Wall Street Journal, Bloomberg, Departures, Robb Report, Town & Country, and many other publications. He's interested in the way fashion and culture overlap. He's probably killing time on Twitter right... Read moreXInstagramRelated Stories for GQCelebrities