Sex Lives: A Guy Who Enjoyed Priest Role Play (Even Though It's a Cliché)-CurrentLens

Sex Lives: A Guy Who Enjoyed Priest Role Play (Even Though It's a Cliché)

2025-02-05 12:44:42 Source： Classification：General

Sex Lives chronicles the evolution of one person's sexual history. This week: Felix, 38, in Los Angeles, who is trans and uses he/him pronouns.

I do remember pretty specifically, [my sexual awakening] was watching Sirens (1994). I would have been like eight or nine. I don’t really know what it’s about, to be honest. I must have been a kid in Northern Ireland watching that on TV, but there’s a scene where Portia de Rossi and Elle McPherson are in a lake or something together naked. It was the first time I’d seen breasts on TV. It was the first time I felt something sexual; I knew it was forbidden. I could never tell anyone being from Northern Ireland—a really conservative, Christian culture. I came out to my friends as queer at 19 and to my family at 23.

I lost my virginity to a guy when I was 19; I wasn’t turned on at all by any of that. I lived in a small suburb outside of Seattle, a pretty conservative suburb, and I met my first lesbian. We worked together at a daycare and she was 25 and one night we got drunk and watched Gia with Angelina Jolie and hooked up. We just made out drunkenly, but it was the first time I was turned on with another person.

Because of my background, I didn’t even masturbate as a teenager. I had sex, but sexual pleasure was off the table, even when I was by myself. But then I discovered [masturbating] at 19 and had my first orgasm. And I started to understand what sexual pleasure was a little bit more and what I was interested in and that I definitely wanted to have sex with women. I still sort of found men attractive, too. I hadn’t really enjoyed sex with men, but I thought there was a possibility; there was potential. So what came next was a very slow, painful coming out where I couldn’t even tell other queer people that I was queer. I had explored a lot sexually as a teenager, but in my early 20s, there wasn’t much going on until I was 25 and I moved to San Francisco. Then It was like everything was on the table with everyone at any given time.

I was having fun, but still not mind-blowing sex. I bought toys, I was coming into my own in terms of masturbation and understanding my body, but still navigating it with another person was really difficult and confusing because I also had additional barrers of being a bit fucked up about what was going on with my gender and not understanding that totally or how it impacted my sex life.

But then I got in a relationship when I was 26 and fell in love for the first time. And that was when I started to have really, really good sex. Now it seems tame, but at the time it was very exciting. They were 11 years older, and they were going to leave a relationship, but they were still in it. They were living in separate bedrooms, but it was an affair. And they were my boss, so if work found it, they would have been fired. We were running around secretly for 6 months, which was really thrilling. We were having really great sex in strange places and cars and bathrooms. We did end up staying together for five and half years.

The relationship fizzled out pretty badly. One big issue is that we weren’t having sex. And we lived in a really small apartment in San Francisco and so they were never not there. And we weren’t having sex, and I couldn’t even masturbate because I was never alone. We were talking about an open relationship, but then when we stopped having sex, they shut that down. So I was really frustrated. So that was a massive breakup. After leaving that relationship, I went through a period of no sex and feeling a bit weird like this was maybe the only person I was sexually compatible with. Like, where do I go from there? I did eventually get on apps when I was 31. I feel like that’s when my proper sexual awakening happened.

I ended up having a series of hookups with people who were sort of fascinating to me, and it was romantic and then they had to leave. One was a woman who was at Berkeley and I was going to school there at the time. I met her on an app and she was just there for the summer doing her PhD in chemistry. She was this really hot Argentinian woman who had only ever been with cis men before but was just very matter of fact, like “I’ve decided to explore my sexuality.” We had this really passionate affair, about two weeks of nonstop sex and then she just disappeared forever.

I went home to Northern Ireland to do a summer course and fell in love with someone over there and sort of had a fling and then I came back and the pandemic hit. Nothing happened before the pandemic, but during this period I fully came out and started taking gender affirming steps. And then once we were vaccinated and I was able to interact in public again, I got into a relationship and had the best sex of my life. I’d mostly been having sex with women. Once every two years or so, I’d have sex with a guy and it was nothing to phone home about. But once I started to take gender affirming steps and I felt more in my body and I wasn’t being feminized by men, then the sex got really good.

That partner that I was with for a year, we were just incredibly compatible. We really did try everything that we could think of at the time, I remember one time we just spent the day having sex and taking breaks and laughing and it was like an eight hour marathon. But I think the hottest sex we had—which felt like it was going to be really, really silly at the time—was when she dressed up like a sexy nun for halloween and I dressed up as a priest. I had a ruler and it felt like it was going to be really cheesy role playing in that way where you're wearing costumes. I just didn’t think something like that could actually be sexy instead of silly and it ended up being some of the hottest sex we had.

Sex Lives: A Guy Who Enjoyed Priest Role Play (Even Though It's a Cliché)

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