My ex-girlfriend used to say that leaving things at my apartment was her way of marking her territory. (Which, in hindsight, maybe should have been a red flag.) It was usually just random clutter—easy enough to ignore, but annoying that that it took up space in my already cramped Brooklyn studio. But it was this habit of hers that first introduced me to the wonderful world of women’s skincare.
The inaugural product for me was the small abandoned tube of Glossier’s “Balm Dotcom” that I found wedged in the crevices of my couch. I wouldn’t have gone out to buy a super glossy lip balm, but of course the day came when I lost my tube of male-coded chapstick, and I found myself chapped and staring down the squeezable pink Glossier tube.
I smoothed a bit of the rose-scented balm onto my lips, and it was instantly clear that this was the sort of lip-care experience I had spent my whole life deprived of. That pink tube became my go-to, holding its own for an entire brutal New York winter, a season that usually left my lips cracking practically audibly.
It’s a small thing, but I had never had a lip balm this impressive. This made me question the point of gendered products in general: we’ve all got skin and hair, lips and teeth, right? Do men really need a separate lip moisturizer or any kind of separate moisturizer? You know the stuff I’m talking about: macho branding, “FOR MEN,” maybe smells like wood or tobacco, and often just not as good. Are dry lips supposed to be a guy thing? I’ll pass.
Look, at this point we all know the meaning of masculinity is rapidly changing, that gender is an extremely mutable concept. Popping into Sephora to re-up my eye cream hardly counts as a revolution these days. And men's grooming is slowly but finally moving past its infant years of nightmarish all-in-one products. But after taking notes from the medicine cabinets of some of the women I’ve loved, I’m convinced there’s still a lot of work to do. They’re keeping the good stuff from us. I’ve finally opened my third-eye—it may or may not be wearing mascara.
Six quote-unquote women's products you should consider adding to your routineGlossier "Balm Dotcom" skin salve
Glossier
This is simply the best ChapStick substitute I’ve ever used. The castor oil, beeswax, and lanolin-based mixture leave your lips with deep moisture that lasts even after the product has been wiped off your kisser throughout the day. The only downside is when you inevitably lose this, as is the fate for all lip balms, it only hurts more.
Adwoa Beauty "Baomint" conditioning treatment
Sephora
Sex is cool, but have you ever showered at your girlfriend’s place and walked into a bathroom filled with a cornucopia of shampoos and conditioners? It’s always overwhelming, but in the best way: Her hair looks great and dammit I want mine to look great too! After years of surveying shower caddies, I’ve concluded that Adwoa beauty’s stuff is gold.
Caudalie "Vinoperfect" serum
Dermstore
A woman I know who works in the beauty industr—and thus had basically limitless access to free samples—always paid full-dollar for this pricey serum. It tackles dark spots and uneven skin tone, but the selling point for me is the radiance boost. Glowing skin has no gender.
Bliss "Bump Attendant" ingrown hair eliminating pads
Ulta
I’ve been told these are a go-to product to prevent ingrown hairs post-bikini wax. So I looked at it like this: if it is good enough for the sensitive nether regions, it is surely good enough for the pesky ingrowns on my neckline, right? I am happy to report that I have yet to be disappointed.
Dickinson's witch hazel cleansing pads
Amazon
Witch hazel is the astringent that your parents and grandparents swore by. My ex would use these makeup remover wipes alongside an arsenal of other tools when she commandeered my bathroom for her nightly routine. I don’t wear makeup, but I found these witch hazel enhanced makeup wipes are still a quick and easy way to rid your face of the day’s debris.
Aztec Secret healing clay
Amazon
This one is marketed as a skin treatment, and it gets results, but black natural hair gurus have had huge success using it off-label as a haircare treatment. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in 2020, it’s that we should listen to Black women.
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By Phillip Picardi