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Superfoods might not be super, and they might not always taste like food, but they deliver the most nutrition per calorie. And even if they won’t turn you into a smooth, glowing, tireless creature of the night who can copulate endlessly and never die, it’s a good thing to get your nutrition, loads of it, from real food. Here are my ten favorite superfoods I ate while reporting this story:

** 1. Chia Seeds

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The new flax seed, which was the new fish oil, which never tasted new at all. Chia performs janitorial work in your intestines, is rich in vitamins and omega-3 oil, and tastes like nothing. You can sprinkle these seeds on anything, or anyone, if that’s how you prefer your nutrition.

** 2. Maqui

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Remember acai? Goodbye acai. The maqui berry is the new golden child of antioxidant lovers. It’s good in oatmeal, smoothies, and breakfast bowls and it jacks up your immune system into a special forces elite ranger team.

** 3. Chlorella

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Imagine the condensed, powdery essence of a gallon jug of green juice. Or an entire person reduced to a thimble of powder. If you accidentally swallow a car battery, try a chaser of chlorella, which sweeps out metals and other toxins from the body. A teaspoon of chlorella dropped into a store-bought juice, green or otherwise, turns your drink into rocket fuel.

** 4. Hemp Seeds

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Hemp seeds add clean protein, along with omega oils and chlorophyll, to your meals without befouling them or turning them to spackle. These seeds hide out, tastelessly, in cereal, oatmeal, soups, hummus, and stews.

Photo:John Delapp/Corbis Images

** 5. Golden Berries

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Like raisins, only bitter, yellow, and loaded with protein, bioflavonoids, and vitamin A. I eat these out of the bag, and sometimes throw them in a trail mix with some sacha inchi seeds, almonds, and coconut flakes.

** 6. White Mulberries a.k.a. Incan Berries

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Also right out of the bag. As close to candy as superfoods can get. Mulberries are a good way to sweeten your green smoothies, when you’ve run out of chocolate syrup. High in protein, antioxidants, and a compound called 1-deoxynojirimycin that might help your body jettison sugar (I imagine this happening through a small hole in your back) rather than digest it.

** 7. Camu Camu

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A little bump on your knuckle supposedly gives you enough Vitamin C for, get this, the rest of your life. But I don’t think you’re supposed to snort it. It bitterizes pretty much any bowl of food, so a pinch is all you need.

** 8. Cacao Nibs

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Like eating black shards of glass, if that glass was made of chocolate. Nibs are just smashed raw cacao beans, but cacao is rich in antioxidants, fiber, magnesium, and iron. Try these in Julie Morris’s mint chip smoothie.

** 9. Maca

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Maca is the Spanish Fly of superfoods. I hear it fights stress, boosts energy, and brings out the horn dog. Beware who you test it on. Maca also gives a caramel, malted boost to anything chocolatey, and can eroticize your morning oatmeal or smoothie.

** 10. Pea Protein

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Because whey is for dead people. I grew up hearing plant proteins are incomplete, which may have just been the meat lobbyists keeping the newcomer down. Not as juicy as a steak. Not as delicious as a steak. Just not to be confused with steak in any way. Because you would not dump powdered steak into your morning green drink.

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